Improve Your Memory

Kym Peckham's brain isn't what he'd like it to be, especially its capacity to remember.

I have 100 billion brain cells. My question is: “What do they do with their time?” They certainly aren't remembering where I left my car keys.

Generally, our memory is as reliable as a two-year-old flower girl. I think I know why: memory is not the brain's real job. Memorising is strictly a volunteer effort for brain cells. Their real employment probably centres on avoiding blame.

Say you back the car into the garage door. Immediately all the brain cells swing into action to find a way to blame your shoes, the car or the Bush administration.

Whenever a memory function is required, the brain is forced to round up volunteer neurons. It may call a neuron, asking if it would please remember the password for your eBay account. The neuron explains that it would like to say yes, it really would, but right now it's avoiding blame for a kitchen fire.

So the brain says, “That's fine. Have a good night.” It then proceeds to call the next neuron. This neuron would also like to help, but claims its been on disability since experiencing a big slice of cheesecake. After polling all 100 billion of its cells, the brain finds just enough volunteers to remember that your password is the name of a grandchild, but not enough to remember which grandchild. Fortunately, there are ways you can improve your memory:

The doctrine of the judgement helps make sense of this. The judgement is God's menmory device for those who've gone through life passing blae instead of admitting shame. And for those who've remembered and reprented of their sins all along, it is the time whenGod say "Sins? They seem to have slipped my mind."

And, as for quitting shampooing, I'll stop when I finish the 99-cent bottle I'm using at present. After all, what's that old saying?

Waste not...something, something....